YUMA, Arizona - The governor of the hot-as-hell state of Arizona has just informed the news media that she regrets having to shut down the state's only cork manufacturing factory.
The governor said that the Yuma-based company named Put A Cork In It, Inc. could just not compete with foreign cork producing countries such as Iceland, Lower Zamgola, Upper Shambutu, and North Korea.
The plant's director of operations Fitchard W. Mineola, 51, said that just since Valentine's Day, the factory had furloughed 47 of its 59 employees.
He said that sadly since the company had been in the red since 2011, the only severance package the workers received was a bag filled with two dozen wine bottle corks.
Mineola pointed out that now that the plant is shutting down for good the remaining 12 employees will have to find a way to divide 27 corks, and a $30 donation to the employee's fund by Maricopa County Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio.
SIDENOTE: Reports are that the plant will most probably be sold to Cindy McCain, who owns the largest Budweiser Beer distributorship in Arizona.