Written by Spicewood
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Topics: CIA, Mormon

Saturday, 6 July 2013

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CIA Info Funneling

A recent hearing in Washington revealed that for many years, young Mormon Missionaries have been suspected of working for the CIA. "Who would suspect those shining young faces of being the eyes and ears of a well planned national information retrieving conspiracy," an anonymous source disclosed.

It has been assumed for some time that their trip to the "temple" in Salt Lake City was for training by the church, when in fact, a hidden tunnel leading from the main sanctuary led to a large area containing classrooms, a dining room, a kitchen, a sound proof firing range, and a gymnasium sized computer facility where all of the information was stored. The Book of Mormon carried by the young men actually contained in each of the five "O's" on the cover, a hidden high intensity camera, a recording device, a broadcasting station,a GPS, and a miniature X-ray machine.

They always worked in pairs, and as one missionary would have all heads bowed in prayer, the other was photographing and compiling a detailed report on the people, their home, and surroundings and forwarding it to the hidden headquarters in Salt Lake City.

Oddly enough, only one of the two missionaries was an active CIA operative and unknown to the other partner. The unsuspecting missionary was designated as the "prayer." and always had his head bowed as the other one was collecting all of the data. "We were able to collect twice as much data that way," the undisclosed source stated.

Michael V. Hayden, CIA Director disclosed that he himself was not aware of the operation until he attended church one Sunday with then presidential candidate Mitt Romney, and recognized a number of men in the congregation who worked for him at the CIA. "Now I know why we have so many Mormons in the agency."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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