Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 5 July 2013

image for New York Warns That The Days of Texting While Driving Are Over
New York will no longer allow the dangerous act of texting while driving.

ALBANY, New York - Governor Andrew Cuomo has just issued a directive that the state will no longer tolerate anyone texting while operating a vehicle.

The governor said that the problem has gotten way out of hand and he has decided that the time has come to put a stop to this extremely dangerous habit.

Cuomo stated that the state of New York has just purchased over $27.8 million worth of texting detecting equipment from The Zippity Doo Dah Electronic Company of Austin, Texas and it will be placed in service at 6:30 a.m. on Saturday, July 6.

The governor said that after that anyone caught texting while driving will be pulled over and given a ticket which calls for a fine of $895.

He also wanted to make it abundantly clear that if the guilty party gives the investigating officer any lip service the fine will automatically be doubled to $1,790.

Governor Cuomo said that if people feel that they cannot drive without texting then he advises that they either take the city bus or else stay home and conduct their business on the computer.

He went on to say that should there be a repeat offense the arrogantly stupid offending individual will be arrested and could receive a jail sentence of between five and eleven months at New York's infamous Sing Sing Prison.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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