Written by Gail Farrelly
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Tuesday, 2 July 2013

image for Pink Dog Wearing Pink Sneakers Still at Large
Think pink!

As reported in "Lost: Pink Dog With Sneakers. Return to West Hollywood." in The New York Times, the Sheriff's Department has still not recovered the 200-pound pink statue of a dog wearing sneakers -- a statue that had stood on Santa Monica Boulevard but has been missing now for a few weeks.

Some folks have advised law enforcement officials to put emphasis on the pink sneakers. That's the key to the case, they claim. One observer feels that pop artist Pink should be investigated, declaring "it's not her fault, she just can't resist anything in THAT color."

Another likely suspect is a Texas state senator who filibustered for 13 hours straight, wearing -- you guessed it -- pink sneakers. Contacted at her office, the newly famous senator argued that she was innocent. "I have a small foot, that pup's sneakers would definitely be way too big for me," she said. "I simply couldn't fill them."

Those in the afterlife are not immune from suspicion. One observer says he suspects Elvis Presley and commented, "I mean, how many years has he been wearing those blue suede shoes? Maybe he was just desperate for a change."

There's even word that the late Jack Webb of TV's Dragnet fame has gotten into the act. Intrigued by the case, he's returned from the dead to conduct interviews. Some of the ladies interviewed have gotten so excited at the sight of their idol that they just couldn't stop babbling.

That's when the Sgt. Joe Friday character completely emerged. "Just the facts, ma'am," the chatty ladies were told.

Hopefully it will be these facts that will bring the pink doggy home!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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