Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 28 June 2013

image for Alaska's Pavlof Volcano Needs To Be Capped Says Sarah Palin
Alaska's Pavlof Volcano spewing forth lava and ash. (Photo courtesy of Nanicka Zapalicka).

WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah Palin has just showed the world that she knows as much about volcanoes as she does about geography.

The failed 2008 GOP vice-presidential candidate, who also quit as governor of Alaska in the middle of her term, recently stated that the Pavlof Volcano has now been spewing ash and lava for six weeks.

"Snowflake" Palin as the Blue Staters call her, said that she was recently up in a private helicopter doing some moose hunting from the sky when she noticed that some of the volcanic ash was hovering up around the 28,000 feet area.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The reason Palin knew it was 28,000 feet was because she asked the helicopter pilot since she reportedly figured that it was more like 3,000 feet].

The woman who is also known by the name The Loose Moose stated that all of that volcanic yucky stuff is hurting the polar bears because she has seen them sneezing and rubbing their eyes.

Todd's wife has even suggested that the state hire about 600 Eskimos to haul sandbags up to the volcano's summit and start tossing them inside to cap the ash and lava spewing crater.

A representative for The Alaskan Eskimo Workers Union angrily responded by saying that since Old Reindeer Gonads has so much energy perhaps she should enlist her three boyish daughters Bristol, Willow, and Piper and have them carry the friggin sandbags and toss them into the rumbling SOB volcano.

SIDENOTE: Sarah Palin told Piers Morgan that she is going to have to stay in Alaska until this volcano problem is settled. Morgan giggled and responded by saying, "Hallelujah, I assure you that the Lower 48 states are bloomingly overjoyed at the thought of being Sarah Palin-free."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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