Washington DC - The CIA intelligence whistleblower has become the darling of the US Tea Party movement after tweeting from somewhere in International Airspace his intention to publish the US President's 'real birth certificate' that names him as a British-born IRA stooge.
"The USA's Commander-in-Chief is a British counter-intelligence construct," Edward Snowden's Wikileaks pal Julian Assange commented, "born in an Islington, North London two-up/two-down to an IRA conman and his bit on the side."
Assange says Snowden acquired the birth certificate after stumbling on some weird Brit cold war secrets that name George Bush Senior as Obama's paternal grandpa.
An arranged marriage circa 1980 saw him 'Obama' wed to a top Republican London ho who subsequently topped herself from heroin addiction.
And their only son died in a tragic 'suicide-by-cop' accident a few years ago in a police case that's now been tidied up by the irrelevant authorities responding to requests by the Democrat Party.
"It's as bad as it gets," commented Snowden's official biographer, "no wonder them Birthers have it in for the Prez."
Expect Edward Snowden to be safely tucked up in a Quito condominium before the birth certificate hits the public domain.
Unless, of course, something tragic first 'takes care' of his vocal chords and ability to retrieve the magic bullet paperwork.
Michelle Robinson Obama is 69.