Written by Glen D. Campbell
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Sunday, 23 June 2013

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A Man With A Nose For Art.

A man was arrested yesterday for causing criminal damage in a Greenwich Village art gallery.

He is accused of sneezing maliciously and abundantly on a derivative and prententious abstract painting which was on display, a work valued at $5,000.

Out on bail this morning the man expressed his surprise at the arrest, saying, "I thought art galleries were establishments that encouraged snotty behaviour."

This morning, however, the gallery seems to be treating the incident more light-heartedly and, like an avaricious cartoon character, the gallery's owner was seen skipping through the halls with dollar signs in his eyes.

With its new gloss of dried nasal mucus, the painting at centre of the episode is now valued at $10,000 and has attracted the interest of renowned French art collector and gourmand, Count Noses, who has a habit of picking big pieces and then dining.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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