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Saturday, 22 June 2013

image for Big Bird and the gang trying to move on

8 months ago Mitt Romney attacked Big Bird in an attempt to become president. Mr. Bird is still feeling the effects today.

"I cant stop thinking of it" said Mr. Bird. "He really fu-ked up my life man! The government has taken it's money away and now I'm on food stamps. I was evicted from my house and now live in section 8. I swear if I see Mitt, I'm fu-cking him up on sight!"

Mr. Bird has gone through some tough times lately and the same can be said for his friends.

Mr. Monster added: "Cookie, cookie, cookie! Fu-k Mitt!"

Mr. Count has not had it too rough during this trying time. "I have had trying times before, 1 time...2 times....2,2,2 many times."

Mr. Grouch has not had anything nice to say; "Mitt took me from the great street of Sesame, where people knew this fu-king trash can was my crib! Now I have to announce that sh-t everyday and people say I'm the grouch. I mean I live in a fu-king trash can! My best friend is a flightless big ass yellow bird. Now he's depressed, smoking and drinking every fu-king day! Then you got this blue bit-h always yelling about some go-amn cookies! What is in those cookies? I think it's fu-king crack. I love cookies too, but I don't run around yelling about them all the fu-king time! Let's not get started with the vampire that is a pimp. Counting and slapping all damn night."

As you can tell, Sesame Street has not been the same since Mitt. Who knows exactly how the long this will last, but one thing is for sure, Big Bird and his crews lives' will never be the same again.

Mr. Bird wrapped up the interview saying "Fu-k you Mitt! I wish I could fly so I could sh-t on your car! Watch your soup, bit-h! I'm going to sh-t in you soup! I know where you live, I'm going to wait till you leave then break in and piss in your bed!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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