Philadelphia, PA-- Recent revelations about spying by the NSA (Nazi Scum Agency) has lead to the release of a local woman from the mental hospital. Miss Vicky Smegma was institutionalized in 2009 after she told her doctor the government was spying on her. She is now at home, recovering from her ordeal.
Miss Smegma was convinced that she was under surveillance. She would ofter hear a clicking noise while on the phone. She thought someone might be reading her e-mails. She also thought some unknown government agency was compiling data about her web-surfing habits. The stressful thoughts eventually led Miss Smegma to contact her doctor.
"She was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic with a persecution complex." said Dr. Groucho Quack. "It was a classic case of severe mental illness and she was immediately hospitalized. Who would want to spy on a 67-year old spinster??" laughed Dr. Quack. "I can't believe she was right!" he said while shaking his head in disbelief.
Besides the NSA, Homeland Insecurity and a host of other agencies were also spying on Miss Smegma.
"It's always the quiet ones you have to watch." said Homeland Insecurity's Janet Napolitano. "We have a file on Miss Smegma over two-inches thick." she bragged.
Miss Smegma says she is glad to be out of the mental hospital, but says there are thousands of sane people like herself still locked away.
"No matter how paranoid you think you are--you're really not paranoid enough." warned Miss Smegma. "Just reading this article has made you an enemy of the state."