HEAVEN-St. Peter released a statement today from God declaring that He is now an atheist.
The statement read: "After spending years reviewing philosophical thought from the pre-Socratics to Plato to Aristotle, through the Stoics and the Skeptics and the Scholastics; and, beginning with Descartes, through much of western rationalist thought beginning in the seventeenth century, and concluding, in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries, with the Existentialists and the Post-Modernists, I have come to the conclusion that I no longer exist."
When a reporter tried to contact Richard Rorty, author of Philosophy and the Mirror of Nature, for comment, he didn't respond, since he's been dead since 2007.
God, St. Peter announced, is expected to go to Notre Dame to teach in the philosophy department.
When St. Peter was asked by someone from The Christian Century what his next move would be, he replied, "Anyone looking for a good PR man?"