WASHINGTON, D. C.- In advance of the 2014 midterm elections, the Republican National Committee is recalling 103 of its current Senate and House members because of faulty wiring in the speech center of their brains.
Explained RNC Chairman Reince Priebus: "We want to avoid a repeat of the 2012 election cycle, when faulty Republican candidates like Todd Akin spoke of 'legitimate rape,' or when, more recently, Alaskan Representative Don Young referred to Mexicans as 'wetbacks.' Because no politician in his or her right mind would say something so stupid, we have to assume the fault lies in the wiring of the congressman's brain, rather than his or her upbringing or some other factor."
But Rep. Steve 'Stonewall' King, of the We Don't Like That Uppity Black Man in the White House Caucus, says he will do everything in his power to obstruct the recall. Says King: "We don't think there's anything wrong with the wiring in our brains. We are speaking from our core convictions. And if America doesn't like that, it can go f--- itself."
Said Priebus: "Looks like we're going to have to send a tow truck to Iowa."