Written by queen mudder
Print this

Sunday, 2 June 2013

image for Catherine Zeta-Jones tightlipped as husband Michael Douglas opens up about 'walnut-sized' oral sex tumor
'A bug you get from cunnilingus with women'

New York - "It's what guys of 69 channel when bi-polar wives are safely tucked up inside rehab," was one explanation this weekend as the Michael Douglas oral sex cancer story broke.

The actor was quoted in a UK broadsheet describing how a walnut-sized tumor on his tongue had been caused by the human papilloma virus [HPV} - a bug you get from cunnilingus with women.

Tonight the interview's gone viral on the web as legions of angry women speak up for Michael's poor, beleaguered wife saying no wonder's she's had that queasy 'too much information, dahlink!' look about her ever since the story broke.

On the bloggosphere loads have come out to vent their spleen via Farcebook pages describing their own tasteless theories.

One ranter even went so far as claiming her own vaginal cancer 'must have been caused by a bit of toxic kebab' - a reference to the male penchant of munching after sixteen pints of lager and the ubiquitous char-grilled take-away.

Not that there's a shred of evidence that the Brits' fave late night snack is in anyway connected with women's abdominal problems.

This evening the Douglas Family PR insisted Michael's words have been taken out of context and there's absolutely no STDs in his happy, long-lasting marriage.

A quarter pound lamb shish-kebab retails at around $7.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 plus 4?

1 15 12 9
59 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more