HOLLYWOOD, CA - It was nearly termed another developing scandal for the Obama Administration, but, before the night was over, audiences saw the 44th President of the United States aptly named 'Best Narcissist' for the 2013 Billboard Music Awards.
"I want to thank you for your love of oppressive government," Obama said in his acceptance speech. "I want to thank you for your love of intrusive surveillance. And I want to thank you for your love of paying taxes. I couldn't have done this without each and every one of you, but, mostly, I couldn't have done it without myself."
Mr. Obama spoke fondly of the many people his Administration has currently destroyed, and he closed his time at the podium with a promise of 'you ain't seen nothin' yet.'
"I'm already hard at work laying the foundation for what will inevitably become my third and fourth best-selling biographies," he assured the audience. "HBO has promised to air several long-running serials that will explore each and every facet of my life before and after my rise to prominence. Grade schools will rework the entire curriculum to revolve around each and every thing I've ever said. Just when you think you've had enough of me, you'll be pleased to know that there's more. There's so much more."