Washington AC/DC - This weekend's twist in a timeless Spy Who Shagged Me script sees Barry O's ass in a sling alright.
Furious CIA spin is pinning the blame on a clownish Moscow desk junior secretary, caught cack-handed in a KGB swoop attempting to turn some Rusky slut.
The caper's left the international espionage profession gasping with disbelief as media reports lap it all up.
And seen a huge disinformation campaign kick in to obscure the most bleedin' ever obvious question, 'Who the hell were these Boston Bombers?'
According to Our Man In The Panama Hat sipping Tequila Slammers in the American Bar it's all part of an FBI spoiler to hide the Tsaranev Brothers' DNA results.
The resulting Double Helix trail connects the bombers to the Leader of the Free World and his junior sidekick, the Brit PM.
Of course the Obama genome has cropped up before in NCIS-style crime scenes since the year dot.
This weekend NATO geneticists fear Barry and his cousin Big Dave Cameron may undergo some sort of X-Files kinda DNA cleansing, alteration and ID wipe.
And in a Boston penitentiary psych wing the younger of the Tsaranev Brothers wonders whaddahell The Family is doing to spring him from solitary.
Poisoned KGB turncoat Alexander Litvinenko was 69.