Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 16 May 2013

image for The Texas Nude Maid Service Is Booming!
Essie Belle Tuckahoe, owner of The Texas Nude Maid Service. (Photo courtesy of Rico Chorizo).

LUBBOCK - The Giddy Up Public Opinion Poll Company of Kalamazoo, Michigan, has just announced that The Texas Nude Maid Service, (formerly known as The Woman's Touch Maid Service) which is headquartered in Lubbock, Texas has become one of the fastest growing companies in America.

Company owner Essie Belle Tuckahoe was given the news by poll company spokesperson Prescott Tippecanoe and she was absolutely ecstatic.

Texas Nude Maid Service has been in operation for a little over a year and they have already had their business increase by 900 percent.

Ms. Tuckahoe recently talked with Fitzwater Ribicoff of American Spotlight Magazine and said that other than the original service outlet in Lubbock, she has opened up four more outlets in Houston, San Antonio, Dallas, and Laredo.

She proudly boasted that she has gone from 12 maids to 125. She pointed out to Mr. Ribicoff that the thing that separates her company from other cleaning companies is that her maids are all dressed in their birthday suits or as they say in Las Vegas - they're nude.

Ribicoff asked if the girls ever run into any problems or trouble with frisky male homeowners. She smiled and said that in the one year that they have been in operation there has not been one case of any client getting out of hand.

She pointed out that all of the girls are extremely feminine and sexy beyond belief but they are all professionally trained in the art of self-defense.

Ms. Tuckahoe grinned and said that her girls are all experts at karate, judo, tae kwon do, kung fu, and kickboxing.

The girls are paid $50 an hour and are very serious about their work, but in the event than a man would be so foolish as to try anything out-of-line with any of her girls he would immediately be turned into a human piñata.

SIDENOTE: Ms. Tuckahoe was asked what the requirements to be one of her maids are. She took a sip of her Papaya Margarita and said that the requirements are very strict. All girls must have a college degree, be fluent in English, Spanish, and German, and they must definitely all be a 10.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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