Written by Derrick Naylor-Made
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Wednesday, 15 May 2013

image for ESPN's Stephen A. Smith to debate all Twitter followers
Smith's Twitter Followers

Citing his passion for debate, flare for commentary and overarching desire to make others feel mentally dominated, ESPN sports anchor Stephen A. Smith has announced plans to debate each of his followers on Twitter.

The event, which Smith has dubbed "Stephen A. Smith's In Yo Face Twitter Debate," is set to kickoff this weekend and run for an entire month.

"This is something that I believe needs to be done," Smith said. "If I can't find 1,278,594 things to debate about on a daily basis then I'm not doing my job!"

That statement refers to the number of Twitter users following Smith's page. His tweets consist largely of sports commentary and pointless debates with people who shouldn't even cross his social spectrum.

"You are a fool who lacks the social graces of a goat in heat!" Smith's tweet to twitter account @dantheman69 read. "Khaki pants are done in corporate America. It's all about navy blue!"

Fellow anchor Skip Bayless, who sits alongside Smith on ESPN's First Take, admitted he thinks Smith may have a debating problem.

"This is a man that literally will not stop debating with me. We debate on the show, he calls me at midnight each night...I'm going crazy!" Bayless said. "Even on commercial breaks he has a compiled list of topics for us to debate!"

On one instance First Take moderator Cari Champion was forced to take legal action after Smith entered her dressing room to debate which style of makeup she should use on the show.

"I came in in the morning and Stephen was sitting there twirling a pencil between his fingers and licking his lips," Champion said. "He asked me about exotic vs traditional makeup styles or something right before I screamed for help."

As the debate special approaches, Bayless said he wants to talk Smith out of it, but knows it would just turn into another debate where Smith yells at the top of his lungs, calls him names and the entire thing becomes utterly pointless.

This evening Smith will be visiting a kindergarten class at Ridgemont Elementary School in Mount Victory, Ohio to prepare for his twitter debates.

"If I can win a debate with a bunch of toddlers I should have no problem with my Twitter fan base," Smith said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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