Written by David Grant
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Wednesday, 15 May 2013

image for Self Plagiarist Sues Himself
Tarquin's Publisher

Tarquin Merryweather, the famous multi-personality and author, is taking himself to court over ongoing battles with his alter egos. He is accusing himself of self-plagiarism.

Although self-plagiarism is not illegal when the author retains copyright, it is looked down upon by some academic journals, and apparently by Tarquin personally.

"I am extremely angry that I have perpetrated this totally unprofessional act upon myself," he said, and added, "Although I cannot remember experiencing what my other selves have done, it is no excuse."

The article in question is a first hand account entitled Living With Myself, which he states captures his daily trials and tribulations. The only problem is that his opinions keep changing, and he disagrees with much that he has written.

Adding to his woes, his article has gone viral, and many are putting their own ill-informed opinions into the pot and stirring it. "This is going to be a nightmare to sort out." he says, "How am I going to find articles written by me under various pen-names with all these other jokers around?"

Leading authority, Ian Toominds, who himself suffers from this disorder, commented, " The general public do not understand what we have to put up with. Sorry, what did I just say?"

The legal process in this case will also be extremely challenging. It will have to be proved by Mr Merryweather in his defense that he had no prior knowledge of the article when he reposted it on a site called Daily Dementia.

When I asked him how he will explain all of this to his lawyer, he said, "No problem, I am defending myself."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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