Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 10 May 2013

image for Ann Coulter: Sarah "Snowballs" Palin Needs To Keep Her Boring Butt Up In Alaska
Ann Coulter says that she hates Sarah Palin just as much as she hates her cellulite.

NEW YORK CITY - GOP political mouthpiece Ann Coulter appeared on The View and she dropped a bombshell on Barbara Walters.

Coulter, a political pundit who is perhaps disliked by more people than even individuals such as Omarosa, Chelsea Handler, and Madonna, talked to Walters about what the GOP needs to do if they ever hope to win a presidential election again.

"First of all," she said, "The party of the elephant has to stop acting like a wild coyote and quit trying to bully people - that does not work and Mitt 'The Flip Flopper' Romney and his running mate Paul 'Little Bunny Foo Foo' Ryan found that out pretty damn quick."

Coulter, who is called Trigger Face by most Democrats and some disgruntled GOPers added that the members of the Republican party have to stop bragging about how filthy rich they are and how that very fact means that they know more than the middle class and especially the poor class.

Ann, who has denied a romantic involvement with Rush "Tubby" Limbaugh, also said that she strongly suggests that the GOP get rid of the red color state designation, which is a sign of trouble, danger, and evil and adopt the green color which is a sign of peace, tranquility, and happiness.

And finally the woman who looks like a drinking straw with hands and legs said that the Republican party has to insist that Sarah "The Loser" Palin keep her boring butt up in Alaska and stop coming down to the Lower 48, and making a complete monkey's ass of herself.

Coulter said that no one cares one iota what the Loose Moose has to say; except maybe for her bratty daughters, Bristol, Willow, and Piper.

In Other News. The European country of Luxembourg wants to make it perfectly clear that the rumors about it planning to invade North Korea are positively false.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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