Written by E. Lee Zimmerman
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Tuesday, 30 April 2013

DETROIT, MI - Despite its looming apocalypse, the Motor City continues to make headlines by changing the way what's left of its society lives. Recently, a ballot initiative proved popular with the electorate, but now it's been learned that a typographical error may have been much ado about nothing: last week, Michigan voters overwhelmingly approved the use of 'same-sex carriages' by a margin of 9 to 1.

"Initially, I thought it was a huge embarrassment for Detroit," stated Hans Beimler, senior coordinator of ballot initiatives for the State of Michigan. "This was supposed to be about My Two Mommies finally getting married, but nobody reviewed the proofs that came back from the presses. Now, my two mommies can legally ride to the store together, so that's progress, I think."

As it turns out, Beimler may've spoken too soon. Researchers looking into the matter have found what was an ordinance from 1928 yet to have been added to any ballot. Back then, city officials were considering how to best combat the rise of prostitution on the streets, and the suggestion of allowing multiple women to traverse the city in the same carriage had been put forth by concerned citizens. However, the measure was never put forward for a vote.

"I'd like to think that, maybe, the printer simply discovered an old purchase order from the 30's and, finally, responded to it," Beimler said. "That might explain the mix-up. But seeing as how Detroit is broke both economically and culturally, we're still not paying the bill."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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