Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 27 April 2013

image for Earthquakes Have Joined Hurricane Status
Earthquakes are finally joining the status that hurricanes have. (Photo by Vice-President Joe Biden).

BOSTON - The United States Meteorological Society has just made an announcement that many felt would be coming sooner or later.

USMS Spokesperson Yardley "Twister" Twistafelli stated to the news media that effective immediately earthquakes like hurricanes will be issued first names.

Twistafelli explained that this is being done in order to better track and identify the various earthquakes.

He pointed out that this system will work out much better by using a proper name instead of just using the same old fashioned method of saying that a 2.9 earthquake struck the Sherman Oaks area or a 4.7 earthquake rocked the greater Oxnard region.

The first six earthquake names are Alonso, Betty, Cordelia, DeKeysha, Elmer, and Fifi.

SIDENOTE: Noted earthquake writer Bancroft "Aftershocks" Dingdocker is reportedly thrilled beyond belief as he will now be able to ascertain between the many and varied earthquakes that hit the United States.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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