Written by Evil
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Friday, 26 April 2013

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George Jones, the ever inspiring country singer who sang the popular music hit "He Stopped Loving Her Today," died at the age of 81.

The Juniper Knights Women's Club held a march in his honor Friday, KFC television reports.

Jones died at a hospital in Nashville after being hospitalized with fever and irregular penis erections, according to his publicist Merriam Webster.

Pastor Gary Moorehead and the Black Panthers said they would protest the funeral of Jones because they don't like country music.

"I stand by my word that I don't like that honkey tonk music!" Moorehead continues, "Praise Jesus!"

Moorehead complains that George Jones criticized him in one of his songs, "Irish Rose," where Jones says "They send him to Asia." Moorehead claims that Jones was talking about him and that nobody has a right to send him to Asia for being a black man.

Jones had No. 1 songs in five separate decades, 1950s to 1990s. He survived long battles with alcoholism and drug addiction, brawls, accidents and close encounters with death, including bypass surgery and a tour bus crash that he only avoided by deciding at the last moment to take a plane after hearing a message from a clairvoyant who was alive in the year 2013. The same clairvoyant who saved Hitler from every assassination attempt.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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