In a stunning joint announcement that took the Capitol Press corps and the nation by surprise, the NRA and the White House reached an agreement in which the NRA traded forty-five US Senators and one hundred-fifty US Congressmen to the White House in exchange for eleven southern states.
Under the agreement the White House will receive the votes of the traded law makers on all issues not related to NRA interests and the NRA will get ownership of all the states involved. "Kind of like The Louisiana Purchase in reverse," said one lawmaker.
Senator Mitch McConnell, Minority leader of the Senate, was ecstatic. "No more Mr. Nice guy," stated McConnell, ""At last I have my very own country to play with, YAHOO!"
According to the settlement, traded Senators and '
Congressmen will continue to represent their states and districts but as foreign diplomats including diplomatic immunity. Hot dog!" said the Reverend T. J. McCorkle, a Congressman from rural North Carolina, "DC Madam, here I come!"
In related news, several Senators and Congressmen not included in the grand bargain were seen on District of Columbia streets holding up placards reading, "Will vote for cash." A veteran DC journalist commenting on the events of the day stated, "So what else is new? Some things change, some things never do."
When Senator McConnell was asked about the members of Congress who were soliciting cash on the streets of DC for their votes, he replied with a disgusted look, "WHORES!"