Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 22 April 2013

image for Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio Says No To Same Sex Marriages
Governor Jan Brewer was given a cat by Sheriff Joe Arpaio which she named "Pinky" after him.

YUMA, Arizona - Maricopa County Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio was named the Grand Marshal for Yuma's 49th Annual Gila Monster Parade.

The self-proclaimed most famous sheriff in America rode on a saguaro cactus float along with Governor Jan Brewer and Senator John McCain.

After the parade Sheriff Arpaio spoke with Fitzwater Ribicoff of American Spotlight Magazine. Ribicoff asked the 80-year-old sheriff how he was feeling.

He replied that he was fine except for a paper-like cut he had received from one of the saguaros.

Ribicoff then turned to the governor and asked her if she was feeling alright.

Governor Brewer winked and said that she was feeling okay except for the fact that she thought that her uterus has gotten a bit misaligned during the seven mile long parade.

Ribicoff asked her if she had a history of uterine misalignment. She grinned as she sipped on a bottle of Kiwi Gatorade and replied that she did not but added that she has suffered from inverted ovaries on occasion.

Sheriff Arpaio stepped in and told Ribicoff that he did not appreciate the fact that he was being very intimate towards Governor Jan.

The governor interrupted him and said that it was quite alright because she really had nothing to hide unlike some politicians like Rand "The Jerk" Paul, Sarah "Snowballs" Palin, and Paul "Eddie Munster" Ryan.

Ribicoff then turned his attention back to the sheriff and asked him about his stance on same-sex marriages.

Sheriff Arpaio shook his head, rolled his eyes, and remarked, "Look I have talked about it a bunch of times already. But I will go ahead and answer that question one more time."

Arpaio then said that he wholeheartedly echos what the governor has said and that is that he is totally against same-sex marriages, especially if it is between two men or two women."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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