In an announcement this morning Fox News and The National Rifle Association announced a joint initiative that shocked even some of their most ardent supporters. The proposal supports a Constitutional amendment that would change the seventh day of the week from Sunday to Gunday.
Wayne LaPierre speaking for both Fox News and the NRA issued the following statement: "We have great respect for the Christian religion and God knows we are good Christians," he paused "but times change, people change and in the course of two thousand years priorities have changed. If Jesus had a thirty round clip he would most likely be alive today. It is time to move on."
La Pierre continued, "We have to start wearing our guns like we have been wearing our religion, you know, so everyone can see it even if we don't use it. So here is our proposal. We use the seventh day of the week to honor our weapons, to wear our baseball caps backwards and to shoot the shit out of something. To honor our faith and our devotion to our Lord and Savior we will give Wednesday afternoons to Christ."
LaPierre smiled benignly and added, "Maybe he could meet us on the first Tee."