Written by Winston Smith
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Saturday, 13 April 2013

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Mankind In The Crosshairs Of Insanity

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Korean dictator Kim Jong Un are the top two contenders for the Lunatic of the Year Award presented by the Nobal Friends of Bedlam. The NFB was created by several eccentric members of the Nobal Peace Prize Committee as a counterbalance to their namesake award.

Kim Jong Un has taken the point lead as of late due to his threats of the imminent nuclear annihilation of Japan and the United States. Kim had fallen slightly behind Ahmadinejad because Dennis 'The Menace' Rodmin's visit was thought to have taken Kim's mind off of his small missile.

Ahmadinejad is rumored to be considering filling the entire Persian Gulf with crude oil and setting it ablaze as a form of Greek Fire to roast the infidel ships presently offending his sensibilities. This is not likely to garner many points among the Nobal Friends of Bedlam. According to sources close to the NFB, that type of action will simply get Ahmadinejad a referral to the History Channul's Myth Busturs.

It is possible that long-shot United States Secretary of State John Kerry might be attempting to wow the judges by adding pork byproducts to the Ketchup that he exports to Iran and estrogen to the Ketchup destined for North Korea. The desired effects being the suicide of a guilt-racked Iranian leadership and the feminizing of the North Korean leadership rendering them more likely to pull each others hair than to play with their missles.

Another possible long-shot is a joint award to Barack Obama and Ben Bernanke who are trying to pump up the United States economy with counterfeit money.

As a sign of the times, the Las Vegas odds-makers we spoke with are trying to book rocket flights to the Space Station, the Moon, Mars or any destination other than Terra Firma. Dr. Who we need you now !

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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