Written by Lyndon
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Friday, 12 April 2013

image for Dementia care costs Americans $159 billion per year, seniors asked to stop faking it
Farr: "Merle and Gus always sit next to each other. It takes energy to make pretend you don't know someone!"

HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a study today positing that the leading bullshit reason why young people feel forced to spend time with their old parents and grandparents is also costly. Dementia is as silent and deadly as an old fart and young people have had enough.

Sally Farr, Harfold State College's instructor of elderly care management, doesn't see an end to the rise in costs.

"Old people talk to one another," said Farr. "Don't think they don't. They're always thinking up ways to trick their relatives into coming by for a visit."

Farr sees an inverse relationship in the percentage of elderly claiming they're unable to remember shit with those who are falling down all the time.

"Years ago, old people were always falling down and breaking hips. But the elderly were tired of being in pain, so they conjured up dementia. Honestly, you can just sit there and claim to not know who the hell anyone is.

"It's painless. But it ain't cheap."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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