Local congressman Dickie Scribbles announced that he will resign next month in order to spend more time with someone else's family. "My family is okay," said Scribbles.
"I mean, they're nice people and all, but I really like my neighbor's wife and kids more." Scribbles explained that his neighbor's wife is better looking and their kids are better behaved than his own.
Scribbles told reporters he's found it increasingly difficult to continue fulfilling his duties as a congressman while also maintaining an affair with the neighbor's wife. "I've always said that family comes first," said Scribbles. "I just didn't say whose family I was talking about."