Written by Ducksley
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Friday, 5 April 2013

image for Carnival Cruise Lines Replacing Lifeboats With Tugboats

Carnival Cruise Lines, whose ships recently have been plagued by one mechanical problem after another, announced today that they are replacing their ships' lifeboats with tugboats.

"We believe this is a win-win solution. The 24 tugboats on each ship are equipped to serve as lifeboats if needed, but they can also tow the ship back to port if it breaks down. Or maybe I should say WHEN it breaks down," laughed spokesperson Maynard Stignit.

The Calamity, the first ship to be equipped with tugboats, set sail this morning, and just one hour later, the Coast Guard reported that it had to respond to the ship to break up a brawl between the Calamity's captain and the 24 tugboat captains that began with an argument over who was in charge.

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