Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 4 April 2013

image for USS Harry S Truman fires up engines ahead of N Korea deployment
Give 'Em Hell, Harry!

Asia-Pacific - Launched in 1998 by the 33rd US President's daughter Margaret when North Korean nutjob Kim Jong-un was still a mere festering pimple on his father Kim Jong Very-Ill-Indeed's backside the Nimitz-class supercarrier is Guam bound ahead of a US Navy fireworks party to end all Pyongyang pyrotechnics for good.

News of her deployment has seen that pimple-from-hell [to quote Joe Biden's nickname for Dennis Rodman's new North Korean BFF] threaten to blow the 104-ton aircraft carrier to smithereens in a show of bluster last seen when Oscar-the-Grouch threatened Miss Piggy with some soggy banana bread one Halloween (don't ask!].

The HST's 'Give 'Em Hell' battle flag has just received a high tech makeover along with her entire consignment of air and sea drones kitted out in the carrier's splendid scarlet, purple and gold combat colors.

Not much is known about the top secret X-47B Unmanned Combat Air System that was installed and trialed at sea late last year apart from glowing US Defense Department reports about the unmanned aircrafts' first, carrier-based testing.

However persistent Capitol Hill rumors have claimed the air drones are not ALL that the HST is capable of deploying, hinting heavily that the real jewel in the supercarrier's awesome toolbox is its superb capability of launching and directing a fleet of secret, radar-busting underwater drones.

These appear to be substantially different from conventional remote-controlled mini submersibles, designed to resemble large marine creatures such as the whale shark and capable of launching a new generation of sting ray photon torpedoes at the flick of a digital switch.

Harry's Navy namesake may now be joined in the Asia-Pacific waters by recently grounded Ticonderoga-class guided-missile cruiser The Gettysburg along with all the other Carrier Strike Group Ten fleet.

Watch out for news of the task force's operations as Kim Jong-Un ratchets up the bluster ahead of a widely suspected major tectonic plate failure beneath the Pyongyang missile silo shortly after next week's New Moon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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