Washington - Fierce competition between the Veep, US Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel and Secretary of State/White House funnyman [sic] John Kerry (Kerry? WTF?? Don't make me laugh, qm! - 'Ed') has seen the competition routed as Joe Biden swept into pole position [ouch!] this morning as Spoof Guest Editor 2013.
The Vice President is expected to exert the full gamut of his legendary charm, wit and mastery of the English language for the 8 April special edition following months of secret coaching at Camp David by veteran writers from the satire site.
Contributors toiling at their April Fools keyboards this weekend were warned that unprecedented new editorial powers granted to Biden, 69, will include changing the site's many bikini shots in the Picture Gallery to topless.
"And that includes Kim Jong-Un's Borat-style mankini, heheh," a website deep throat chuckled as we went to press.
Fake 'Hitler' mustaches on Biden's Capitol Hill colleagues' public domain images - including winsome First Lady Michelle Obama and presidential wise woman Valerie Jarrett - are also rumored in the frame along with dozens of Hillary Clinton zit pics, animated to perform traditional pus squirts each time a story is 5-thumbed.
"Basically, Biden will get carte blanche," the deep throat added, "plus a fabulous guest editing fee...rumored to be around 500,000 points on his Spoof Writer tally."
Catch the Spoof 10th Anniversary Edition one week after April Fools.