Written by Ducksley
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Topics: God, Prayer

Tuesday, 26 March 2013

image for God: "I'm Tired of Same Old Prayers"

In a written statement today, God said He's tired of the "same old prayers" and asks that people come up with some new ones.

"If I hear that 'Now I lay me down to sleep,' chestnut one more time, I'm gonna gag," God wrote. On a side note, 67-year-old retired English teacher Sunnie Crutch was mysteriously struck by lightning on a cloudless day after telling others that God's use of "gonna" was improper. Doctors say she will survive but that she's now permanently bald and stutters.

God advised that He enjoys funny prayers but not ones that rhyme or use the words "Thy" or "Beseech." He also said He ignores anyone who prays to win the lottery.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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