Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 25 March 2013

image for South Dakota May Have To Sell Mount Rushmore
If money cannot be found to make repairs to Mount Rushmore it could end up being sold. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

KEYSTONE, South Dakota - A fact finding team comprised of three South Dakota state senators recently traveled to the Black Hills town of Keystone, South Dakota.

They visited the Mount Rushmore National Memorial, site of the colossal presidential sculpture.

South Dakota has announced that state budget cuts could possibly end up forcing the state to sell Mount Rushmore unless money can be diverted from other departments to make some much needed repairs to the world famous monument.

State Senator's Rafferty Friggmeister [D-Aberdeen], Griselda Corvette [D-Rapid City], and Conroy Moppentuck [R-Pierre] toured the national memorial and were surprised at the state of deterioration of some of the four 60-foot tall presidential faces.

Senator Friggmeister said that George Washington was missing a pretty good chuck of rock from his left ear.

He commented that Thomas Jefferson was missing the lower part of his right eyebrow.

Senator Corvette said that she could see that Theodore Roosevelt was missing what appeared to be about 15 percent of his moustache.

And Senator Moppentuck pointed out that Abraham Lincoln's left nostril has a definite crack that is big enough to have an eagle's nest in it.

All three senators told the local news media that if the state cannot come up with the money to fix the national sculpture then some consideration will be given to selling the presidential monument to the Republic of China.

SIDENOTE: Senator Corvette stated that she talked to a highly reliable source who told her that China has been trying to buy Mount Rushmore since 2002.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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