Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 15 March 2013

image for The USS Dream Turns Into The USS Nightmare
A view of the Caribbean Sea from the deck of the non-moving cruise ship The USS Dream.

ST. MAARTEN - It looks like the Care Free Ocean Liner Company which is based in Waterloo, Iowa has done it again.

After the great fiasco last month with the USS Triumph now comes word that the USS Dream is having its share of ocean going problems.

According to reports from crew members who did not want their names mentioned the 130,000 ton ship is dead in the Caribbean waters due to a malfunctioning backup generator.

The non-working generator affects the ships rudder, anchor, and iceberg detector.

A spokesperson for the cruise line, Shelia Ramona Gibblegrit, 71, said that she did not want to put out too much information in order to avoid getting people all upset and having them think that the company is being run by Gary Busey and Paris Hilton executive types.

Comedian Zydeco Dupree stated that with all of the problems that the cruise line has been having lately it's a damn good thing they aren't in the airline business.

He suggested that they definitely need to change the ship's name from the USS Dream to The USS Nightmare.

Dupree pointed out that it is his understanding that the ship line secretly issues all of its on-board employees with standard ocean going oars.

He shook his head and wondered if the ships mechanics received their training at toy factories.

Zydeco then suggested that the ship's owners never again purchase backup generators at flea markets since as the old saying goes, "You get what you pay for."

SIDENOTE: A recent survey conducted by The Amalgamated Department of Data Gathering found that passengers who book on Care Free cruises are 43 percent more likely to end up divorced than those who book on other competing cruise lines such as Royal Revelry, Happy As Heck Ocean Tours, or Zippity Doo Dah Cruises.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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