After several months of construction, the staff at Little Wigglies Sperm Bank celebrated the opening of their eagerly anticipated ATM today.
"It was very exciting. We had a ribbon cutting ceremony and served Red Bull and oyster snacks," gushed manager Canasta Trenchman. "The mayor showed up and he made the first deposit right then and there," said Trenchman, adding, "Oh my gosh, you should have seen the crowd. They were chanting his name the whole time. It was so much fun."
The sperm bank ATM is open 24 hours and, for now, will accept only deposits, although Trenchman said they hope to offer withdrawal services through the ATM in the near future. "We're still dealing with some handling and packaging issues."