Written by queen mudder
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Topics: University, Fake

Tuesday, 29 August 2006

image for Canadians nail Bush's fake academic records
Alumnus? Or just a crook?

Toronto, Ontario - (Associated Mess): A northern Ontario university's guerilla marketing campaign of vilifying George Bush's alleged alma mater Yale University has provoked unprecedented global approval after it's slogan "GRADUATING FROM AN IVY LEAGUE UNIVERSITY DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN YOU'RE NOT A MASSIVE CROOK" hit a high note among the billions of inhabitants of Planet Earth this week.

The Canadian Lakehead University originally scheduled its poster campaign as an autumn attraction to promote a new Masters Degree in Unravelling Political Bullshit as a counter-balance to US Ivy League establishments' continuing agendas that offer scholarships for postgraduate courses in Republican Sycophancy and Bush Dynasty Arselicking.

Many of these have been funded since the 1960s by Skull 'N' Bones alumni who graduated in international money laundering and associated racketeering techniques before forging succesful careers at the Riggs Bank.

Young Euan Blair, for instance - son of British Prime Monster Tony Blair - is the latest recipient of such largesse after his mother Cherry Bush QC managed to blag her way to some £50,000 of Bonesmen's slush funds to send the lad to Yale this September.

Now the Thunder Bay-based college's promotion has provoked a massive CIA investigation after the agency's switchboard was inundated with outraged callers worldwide who had seen the Lakehead website's advice which reads: "WE BELIEVE THE PERSON YOU BECOME AFTER YOU GRADUATE IS EVEN MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE PERSON YOU PRETENDED TO BE WHEN YOU ENROLLED".

The CIA protests are understood to originate from former law enforcement officers, retired spooks and related Justice Department oficials who are demanding an immediate public enquiry about how one John Gelli - the doppelganger lookalike son of General Augusto Pinochet and half brother to Tony Blair who has been bankrolled by Riggs Bank to take on the ID and Persona of George Bush Junior - has managed to evade capture for crimes committed during a spectacular career as a KGB hitman and mentor to Russia's Vladimir Sputum.

The Lakehead University's campaign has co-incidentaally also produced such a sizeable influx of academic applications following the mass-market appeal of its poster campaign that places for its student courses will now be allocated by ballot.

General Pinochet is still under house arrest in Santiago, Chile.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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