SAN ANTONIO - The United States Drinking Society Federation (USDSF) has just announced that the winner of The 2013 Best Drink in America is the Margarita.
The name Margarita was also chosen as The Most Popular Female Name of The Year.
USDSF spokesperson, Delilah "Shot Glass" Glassafetti, 29, said that the tequila, salt, and lime drink beat out such favorites as the Singapore Sling, the Kamikaze Cocktail, the Anaconda Shooter, and the Vodka Collins.
The drinking contest was held on the campus of Solid State College and judges for the event were country music legend George Strait, former wrestling champion Stacy Keibler, and Texas Governor Rick Perry.
A group of 30 individuals, 15 males and 15 females, between the ages of 21 and 41, participated in the actual contest. They each had to take a drink from 20 different alcoholic drinks that had been entered in the event.
The three judges studied each contestant and judged how good the drink was from the facial expressions and verbal comments that each drinker made.
Each contest participant was also allowed his or her choice of a pepperoni pizza, an order of beef enchiladas, or a double meat double cheese Whataburger.
The rules specified that if a drinker happened to get ill, he or she would be disqualified and asked to leave the premises as fast as humanly possible.
None of the drinking event participants were paid but they did get to attend a special After Party Fandango at the mansion of George Strait where they were treated to a mini-concert, endless drinks, and a good, old-fashioned Texas barbecue.
Governor Rick Perry provided the security with a dozen Texas Rangers and Stacy Keibler really prettied up the place with her gorgeously long luscious legs.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I was invited to attend the drinking contest and After Party Fandango but I had prior commitments DARNIT!]