Written by Lang Syne
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Friday, 22 February 2013

President Obama, taking a break from destroying the economic infrastructure of the United States, played a round of golf last weekend in Florida with Tiger Woods. It's not clear how many holes he played, but some observers (Jay Carney) stated that it was more than Tiger's. He also golfed that weekend, albeit poorly.

He returned to Washington on Monday, determined to continue the budget crisis that he considers one of his crowning achievements.

Speaking, via Teleprompter, to his wife, sitting dutifully next to him, he puled, and indeed, mewled that he was saddened by the fact that he may not have time in his remaining years as President to reduce the United States to the level of the Europeans he so much admired.

At that point, it is reported, David Cameron, UK Prime Minister called urgently to request a direct loan from the United States (rather than through the IMF) to prop up the English national health care system- Cameron stated they needed more funds to bury their increasingly aging population- average life span down to 60 years- much to the relief of the Conservative Government, and a batch of cadaver dogs to search the dilapidated national health service hospitals as they crumbled, unattended throughout England.

He was concerned that with the impending Scottish referendum, they would not lure the Scots into remaining within the UK if they, the 5 million Scots, realized that staying with the Union would mean continuing to prop up the rest of the living and even dead 50 million English who had now become so dependent on the welfare state.

Meanwhile in Scotland with their own national healthcare system in a shambles, there was a certain amount of flummox as to whether to adopt the pre-Obamacare system or continue down their own ruinous way. While Alex Salmond could, so adroitly, blame everything onto the English, he was no match for Obama who could, even into his second term, blame the former President Bush for the recent sewage backup in Portland, Oregon, to a thirteen pile-up on I-95 in Miami.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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