Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

image for Lisa Marie Presley hominid is 'extinct' Ecuadorian sloth says Smithsonian
Artist's impression

Washington DC - "Don't you dare call my ex-husband a sleazy hominid," the forty-something US singer-songwriter said today as pics of a Nicolas Cage-lookalike sasquatch prowling the grounds of her UK home were posted online.

The reaction comes as Smithsonian Institution zoologists studying the photographs say they have identified the beast as a rare, seven foot tall brown-nosed, three-toed Ecuadorian sloth/human hybrid and not the Lesser Spotted British Bigfoot as originally suspected.

Reports last year claimed the creature might be an escapee from the Scientologists' Saint Hill Manor experimental bunker set in lush rolling acres bordering Presley's Rotherfield, East Sussex spread.

This morning Smithsonian experts in human-animal genomes confirmed that samples of reddish fur taken from Presley's estate have since tested DNA positive for their sloth/human hybrid theory.

The results vindicate decades of speculation tracing the mythical hybrid's DNA to Tagaeri tribesmen from Ecuador's Huaorani region.

"Those leaf-eating vegetarians are notorious for mating with anything they can get away with," claims Smithsonian curator of endangered species Dr Einstein Flintstone.

Saint Hill Manor director David Miscavidge is 69.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 3?

8 13 7 6

Go to top