Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 20 February 2013

image for Nazi gold sleuth wants to dredge Central Park's Jackie O Reservoir
We'll get your ancestral bullion back, Ma'am

New York - It started decades ago as a quirky hobby digging for links between the Nazis and two US presidential families - the Kennedys and the Bushes - who'd made a packet in World War II contraband deals.

This week a dramatic turnaround sees renowned Nazi bullion hunter Erno B Doodlebug switch his foraging of decrepit old Bavarian lakes to New York.

His bid to drain Central Park's one-trillion-plus-gallons and dredge the bottom has begun with the filing of papers before New York authorities claiming the right to $2 billion of gold stored inside 18 crates deep in the mud at the Jackie O pond.

The treasure is part of the fabled haul from the Nazis' April 1945's secret 'Operation Nibelung' which had been previously stolen by Luftwaffe chief and Hitler deputy Hermann Goering from various European bank vaults.

After 1945 the cache mysteriously vanished and all reference to it in Allied Powers war papers was somehow erased on what was subsequently identified as the direct orders of Joseph P Kennedy, US Ambassador to London between 1936 and 1940.

Conspiracy theorists have long suggested that bullion was some sort of intended part payment by the Kennedys to the Bush family whose investment in the Nazis' IG Farben poison gas factory is a matter of record.

They allege President John F Kennedy reneged on a complex deal with the Vatican to hand over the treasure to the Bushes following negotiations with the family paterfamilias and former US banker Senator Prescott Bush.

JFK and his brother Bobby then paid the ultimate price.

Expect to see Reservoir pumps in action 'very soon' if Mayor Bloomberg caves in to allow the dredging.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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