Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 20 February 2013

image for Sarah Palin Says The Anorexic Rumors Are Nothing But Reindeer Droppings
Sarah Palin is starting to look like LeAnn Rimes except much, much older. (Photo by Piper Palin).

WASILLA, Alaska - It is no secret that Sarah Palin feels like no one in the Lower 48 cares about her anymore.

And according to recent polls the Moose Mama is absolutely right. Even her fellow Republican cronies and cohorts at FOX News made that abundantly clear when they fired her from her $1 million a year reporting job.

"Snowflake" Palin, 59, even tried real hard to get another reality show but she was turned down by seven different networks including The Hunting Channel.

The woman, who Gary Busey calls Snowballs is reportedly very upset that her daughter Bristol's reality show Bristol Palin: Life's A Tripp, was also cancelled after only airing a few episodes.

And as if that is not enough negative news, the constant rumblings of hubby Todd's fixation with his salmon fishing guide, the gorgeously sexy Nanicka Zapalicka has not helped the situation at the Palin home, Casa Moscow.

One of Sarah's closest friends Moxie May Tamarillo, 57, told Bedroom Pillow Talk that due to her deep rooted depression Senator John McCain's former vice-presidential running mate has gone on an extreme diet.

Mrs. Tamarillo said that Mrs. Palin has given up eating pretty much everything and her daily diet consists of a handful of moose morsels for breakfast, a cup of caribou nuggets for lunch, and for dinner she partakes of half a dozen polar bear gonads (balls).

The woman, whose own daughters call the Tundra Troll, claims that she is the fittest female in the entire state of Alaska.

And she poo-poo's talk of her being anorexic as nothing but reindeer droppings made up by icicle-headed people.

In A Related Story. Senator John McCain's infamous comb over has once again been named The Worst Comb Over In America.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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