Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 15 February 2013

image for President Obama Upset That His Favorite Hamburger Joint Has Closed
A photo of one of Ray's Famous Hell Burgers. (Photo courtesy of Vice-President Joe Biden).

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama received word from his Chief Secret Service Agent Laramie Cobalt that his favorite hamburger establishment Ray's Hell Burgers has shut its doors.

The president immediately asked what in the world had happened. He was told that it was a matter of the owner of the property, a Mr. Heflin F. Keckinwoody, simply wanting more money which Ray could not afford.

President Obama told Agent Cobalt that there was just no way that he was going to allow his all-time favorite hamburger place to seize to operate.

He then said that he and Joey (Biden) spent many days in Ray's chomping down on those delicious burgers and homemade fries while conducting the nation's business at his private booth.

The president even recalled taking several heads of states to Broutha Ray's, as his lovely wife Michelle referred to it.

Cobalt remarked that he had to agree with him that Ray's Hell Burgers were hard to beat. He then said that even his 97-year-old grandmother Jessifina Mildred "Whoopsi" Cobalt loved going to Ray's with her 17 grandchildren and 13 great grandchildren.

The president commented that out of the dozen or so heads of state that he took to Ray's the one that literally fell in love with the burgers and had them shipped to his mansion in Paris was French President Nicolas Sarkozy.

President Sarkozy stated that he would rather eat a good-old fashioned Ray's Hell Burger than the best Chateaubriand Steak in all of Paris.

SIDENOTE: President Obama has asked Attorney General Eric H. Holder, Jr., to look into the matter and talk to Mr. Keckinwoody personally and see about convincing him to change his mind and keeping the lease amount at the same monetary level.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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