Written by Winston Smith
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Thursday, 14 February 2013

image for Senator Rand Paul To Block Door To CIA Nomination With His Big White Balls
Does Rand Paul have big enough balls?

Senator Rand Paul is pledging to block the CIA Director nominee John Brennan's passage through the Senate "Out" door. He says that he intends to roll his big balls in front of it to seal it closed, a statement from his Senate office reports. The door opens inward so that if Senator Paul's balls cannot be moved the nominee for CIA Director will not be able to pass through.

"I have asked Mr. Brennan if he believed that the President has the power to authorize lethal force, such as a drone strike, against a U.S. citizen on U.S. soil, and my question remains unanswered. I will not allow a vote on this nomination until Mr. Brennan openly responds to the questions and concerns my colleagues and I share." Paul's statement reads.

"These issues must be discussed openly so that the American people can understand what constraints exist on the government's power to use lethal force against its citizens. Before confirming Mr. Brennan as the head of the CIA, it must be apparent that he understands and will honor the protections provided to every American by the Constitution."

Now that Senator Paul has rolled out the gauntlets only time will tell if the Establishment squares can flatten out his roundly celebrated blocking maneuver as they attempt to steamroll this nomination through the Senate.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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