For many years, millions of people have begun sentences with, "They say...". But just who "They" are has been a mystery--until now. University of Zawyzona Sociology Professor Dr. Hyman Flatcramp announced today that after years of searching, his team of researchers has found "They."
"'They' are the Lurtzfur family of Broken Bow, Nebraska, Flatcramp revealed. "There's Harold, Trixie, Little Harold, who goes by "Doof" and Berta Fern, who was born with only one nostril," said an obviously proud Flatcramp. He added that the Lurtzfur family first began serving as "They" nearly 20 years ago. "Before them, a couple named Cubby and Doris Okerford was doing it, but they split up and therefore couldn't be "They" anymore. Cubby tried working solo and getting the 'He says...' thing going, but it never took off."
The Lurtzfurs didn't want to be interviewed for this story, although they did say it's not supposed to rain this weekend.