Written by Moose
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Topics: Hell

Monday, 11 February 2013

image for State of emergency declared after hell freezes over...

Hell was struggling to return to normal just days after a massive storm dumped more than 3 feet of snow in much of the area.

By early Sunday evening, reported power outages numbered fewer than 2,800, down from as many as 2,801 a day earlier. Most were in southeastern Hell, which was hardest hit by snow and wind.

Lucifer ordered Hell employees to report on Monday, though nonessential workers are required to stay in Hell to keep traffic to a minimum as road crews continued to clear snow from pools of boiling lava.

Heavy Monday morning traffic will delay cleanup work and "the last thing we need at this point is a typical morning rush-hour commute," Lucifer added.

The University of Hell will be closed Monday, but expects to resume regular operations Tuesday.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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