TAMPA, Fl. - The Florida couple who came clean this week about their addiction to coffee enemas has released a short list of the highly anticipated names of coffee blends that they shoot into their colons via anus up to four times a day.
Wife Tammy, who admittedly has more eclectic tastes, prefers Starbucks Breakfast Blend for its potent caffeine punch without the heavy feeling of fullness that many strong coffees leave behind.
Husband Marty, who proclaims to have always been more dollar conscious than his significant other, goes for the working man's hot beverage: Dunkin' Donuts hazelnut with half & half and two sugars.
"Some hazelnut coffees can be too nutty," said Marty after having hunted down a clean white towel. "But not D & D. It's more like having candy in your anus than it is coffee."
It wasn't an easy road to choosing the best enema ingredient. Both Tammy and Marty tried McDonald's breakfast coffee, but immediately agreed that it was a bad choice.
"It was the only break we've taken from enemas in two years," said Marty. "But you simply cannot shoot anything, hot or cold, into a scalded anus."
Their suit against McDonald's for having served them anus-scalding coffee has gone nowhere, much like the married couple themselves since they spend up to five hours a day preparing, shooting, and cleaning up after their enemas.