Written by queen mudder
Print this

Saturday, 9 February 2013

image for Bed bugs, vermin and primitive sanitation: Mayor Bloomberg's lowdown on Prince Charles' vacation home
Who you callin' a bed bugger?

New York - "You wake up in the middle of the night with a hunch the royal four poster's crawling with parasites," is how the Mayor of New York described his stay at Birkhall, Scotland

"Still, kinda reassuring to know the real bloodsuckers are fast asleep in the Prince's private quarters."

Just one night at seedy Birkhall House was enough to send Michael Bloomberg scurrying back home with a 'Never Again! One step down from a cardboard box!' rating posted on the RoyalBadTripAdvisor.con website.

The New York mayor cut his weekend stay to a fleating overnight visit after Charles' hospitality was eclipsed somewhat by the presence of unexpected Scottish wildlife.

"Yeah, mainly arthropods from the cimicid family," Bloomberg continued, "not to mention a colony of bubonic plague rats nestling behind the bed chamber's ensuite composting lavatory."

He's now been treated successfully at New York's Mount Sinai Hospital where surgeons also fixed lacerations to the Mayor's wallet.

"It's true," Bloomberg continued, "all Prince Charles wanted was a wad of my cash to prop up his crumbling Amazonbotch Foundation."

The not-for-profit organization fund-raises for Ecuadorian pollution scams ahead of a major racketeering lawsuit in New York this year against US super major Chevron.

A bucket shop return ticket from JFK International to Aberdeen Airport costs a bargain $1,000.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 plus 5?

2 7 15 21
53 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more