Written by DP Whitehead
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Tuesday, 5 February 2013

image for Man Who Rushes To The Front Of Plane When It Lands To Get Off First A Total Prick Claims Fellow Passenger
They Do Let You Off!

Gone are the days when airlines would not let passengers off planes, forcing them to fly back to where they had just come from. Also gone are the days when airlines would only let the first 20 passengers to depart the aircraft to collect their luggage; and make connecting flights, forcing those at the back to remain on-board for the night.

Those days are gone.

Unfortunately one passenger aboard flight 997 (AA) from Washington DC to Fort Lauderdale was unaware of this change of policy, resulting in the sweat drenched chubby bastard pushing his way through other passengers, hitting them with his briefcase and offending them with his BO as he clambered his way to the front of the Boeing 767 from his seat which I believe was 35D.

As the portly tool shoved children, seniors and cabin crew out of his way he was heard to mutter "sorry, sorry, I have to get past, I have a connecting flight to Tampa and I only have 2 hours to get something to eat and to take a dump. Sorry, sorry."

Other passengers looked on in horror as the stout fellow reached the front of the aircraft and then proceeded to mop his sweat drenched face with a handkerchief.

Luckily his rudeness and inconsideration for fellow passengers did not go unpunished as several travelers were seen to shake their heads in disgust, tut loudly and silently mouth phrases such as 'get him' and 'how rude' to other passengers, who in retaliation for his rudeness looked away and pretended they had seen nothing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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