Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 2 February 2013

image for California Explains Its New Tanning Bed Law
Three California grade school students showing off their salon acquired tans.

SACRAMENTO, California - The state of California, which has more yearly botox implants and liposuction procedures than any state in the nation has just implemented a new law.

According to Assistant Attorney General Fairfax Sextontelli, the California state legislature voted 23-17 to ban the use of tanning beds for anyone under the age of 14.

State Senator Clovis B. Wildwicket of Santa Barbara stated that he understands from recent research studies that there are going to be an awful lot of very unhappy ten and twelve-year-old girls in Southern California elementary schools and especially in the Beverly Hills - Brentwood area.

But the senator pointed out that the matter of little grade school girls getting total body tans simply goes against the grain of what an average elementary school girl should be focusing on which is cell phones, nail polish, and boys.

Fellow Senator Rapunzel Charmlight of Van Nuys, remarked that she has seen eight-year-old little girls with tans that would put George Hamilton to shame.

She noted that her own granddaughter Mindy Cindy Tallafickler, who is only seven, told her back in November that for Christmas she wanted her Gramster to buy her a one year membership to The Princess Sizzle Sizzle Tanning Salon of Beverly Hills.

SIDENOTE: Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that a mother and daughter in Sherman Oaks have hired the services of noted attorney Ginger Allred and they plan to sue the state of California.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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