WASHINGTON, D.C. - The White House is glad to announce that the president's teleprompter that was stolen from the White House's News Media Room has been found.
According to Chief Secret Service Agent Laramie Cobalt he received a phone call from an individual who refused to give his name advising him where they could find the stolen teleprompter.
The individual was identified as Oretello De Los Burritos. Agent Cobalt saw his name on the display window of his cell phone.
Secret Service agents immediately traveled down to Mexicali, Mexico, and paid Mr. De Los Burritos a visit.
They asked him where they could find the stolen teleprompter. At first De Los Burritos refused to tell them, but after being threatened with a high voltage taser gun he gladly led them to the location where the teleprompter was.
Agents arrived at a piñata shop where they found the stolen teleprompter in a back room hidden underneath a bullfighter's cape.
A piñata shop employee, identified as Billy Amigo, was asked what plans they had for the teleprompter. Amigo replied that they were going to use it to teach conversational English to soon-to-be-illegal aliens.
The agents grinned, quickly boxed up the White House teleprompter, and returned back to the United States.
SIDENOTE: When the teleprompter was returned to the White House, President Obama was so overjoyed that he personally called up Mr. De Los Burritos. He informed him that he really appreciated getting the teleprompter back and said that if he wanted he would pull some strings and make special arrangements to grant him U.S. citizenship within 24 hours.