Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 2 February 2013

image for Seafood Alert: Massachusetts Banning Lobster Dinners
The state of Massachusetts has placed a temporary ban on lobster dinners.

BOSTON - The National Food Federation Agency has just issued a warning to seafood restaurant patrons in the state of Massachusetts.

NFFA spokesperson Hal "Calories" Calafinster informed the news media that they have received dozens of reports from people dining in Massachusetts seafood diners regarding their lobster meals.

Calafinster went on to say that the complaints stem from the fact that lobster eaters have reported that as they started to partake of their lobster dinners the lobster's pincher's started blinking on and off.

A Mrs. Myron F. Bibbawitzs from Walpole stated that her and her third husband, Baumgartner Bibbawitz, were enjoying a nice lobster dinner at The Vicious Guppy Seafood Diner in Boston when out of the blue the pincher's on her lobster lit up and started blinking on and off at a high rate of speed.

She immediately had her husband call the waiter over and Mr. Bibbawitz explained the situation. The waiter bent down to get a closer look at the lobster since the restaurant was somewhat dimly lit.

And he did in fact verify that the lobster's pincher's were glowing as red as a stop signal on a traffic light.

He asked Mrs. Bibbawitz if she would like to have another lobster. By this time she was so traumatized that she could not even speak. Her husband immediately called their attorney.

The waiter informed Mr. and Mrs. Bibbawitz that the manager had told him to give them a 50 percent discount and not charge them for the four Blueberry Margaritas.

SIDENOTE: The Massachusetts State Department of Food Consumption is looking into the matter and they will be reporting their findings to the National Food Federation Agency within two weeks. In the meantime the state has placed a temporary ban on lobster meals.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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